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Beforehand, my mother said to me: “Do you have time to get a fake tan? It’ll make you look way thinner.”
Needless to say, I did not. But this stands out as one of the more publishable pieces of advice I received before I went naked speed dating.
The latest in London’s saucy scenes, Date in a Dash have begun hosting nude events for ages 23 to 35, to shake up the dating scene, cut through the bulls*** and to reveal right off the bat who’s really attracted to who, and who’s sporting, say, an london sugar daddy unfortunate butt tattoo.
The format is simple: regular speed dating, with four-minute meetings, a mingle and a yes, no or friends column to tick. The only thing missing, in fact, is your apparel.
Just 20 quid will buy you a look at 30 odd sets of genitalia – although not, apparently, a bottle of wine at the pricey Balham venue, The Exhibit pub (no pun intended).
“You must be out of your mind,” my friends told me. “I wouldn’t do it in a million years.” Red rag to a bull, I’m afraid.
Full disclosure: I am a 5”4, size 14 woman on the latter side of 25 with all the trimmings – cellulite, scars, bruises, chipped nail varnish and a rack that gave up the fight against gravity years ago.
So this isn’t one of those #bodypositivity Instagram larks done by a part-time teenage model with an airbrush filter. In fact, trying to make a good impression on a total stranger while sweating from your inner thighs is about as #nofilter as it gets.
But I screwed my courage to the sticky place and decided to brave it alone, without a friend along for moral support. I am strong, I am woman, etc etc.
So there I was, alone outside a pub in Balham, having broken the habit of a lifetime and arrived early, puffing frantically on a fag and trying to psyche myself up to go inside. I’ve never been less excited to see a roomful of naked men before.
In the end, the only thing that got me through the door was the need to prove a totally meaningless point – and the prospect of a large vodka inside.
This is an unexpected and surprisingly delightful USP of Date in a Dash events: the organisers really get involved, going out of their way to talk to everyone and put them at ease. Rob was no exception.
Leading me into the changing room, he tells me that before he got into the speed dating business, he was a police officer “with long hours and no job satisfaction” – but had always been entrepreneurial.
“I started the business in 2011, when I went with a friend to a rival event and thought it was a good laugh and way to meet people, but not very well put together. I saw an opportunity to do things better and make the events more quirky and fun.
Here he is, indeed. Date in a Dash now hosts more events in London than its competitors, has over 30,000 members and is working with top brands in quality venues all over the city.
Naked ambition: I went nude speed dating – and you should too
“There is a real trend for quirky events; it seems that people are more willing to do something completely bats*** crazy than a regular event, so there is a real focus towards nights like ‘drunk jenga dating’ and a new one we launched on Wednesday – ‘dirty Pictionary’”, Rob explains.
“In terms of ‘Naked Dating’, it was just an idea I’d been thinking of for a while since I saw the show, ‘Naked Attraction’.”
